


You'll Know How Good You Are

by heartequals (savvygambols)



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Going On Facebook: A Darcy Lewis Fic Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savvygambols/pseuds/heartequals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy’s got a summer internship with Agent Coulson at SHIELD.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'll Know How Good You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [earlofcardigans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlofcardigans/gifts).



> For earlofcardigans for the goingonfacebook Darcy Lewis exchange! Thank you to AJ for the awesome beta/cheerleading job!

Darcy had not made a list of people she didn’t expect to see at her brother’s graduation party, but if she had, Agent Coulson would probably have been near the top. “Um,” she said. “What?”

“Miss Lewis,” said Agent Coulson. He had a creepy blank look on his face, the one like he had when he stole everything they owned last summer. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks?” she said.

She stared at him. She couldn’t help it. First of all, here was a man she’d never expected to see again, a man who had nearly robbed her of six college credits, not to mention actually robbing her of an iPod and Jane’s life’s work, and second, he looked like _hell_. Not that she really knew what he looked like in the first place--she’d only met him a couple of times--but the man was pale, like bloodless pale. He looked exhausted, his eyes dark from a lack of sleep. He looked thinner, too, or maybe that was just his suit, which fit him poorly and sagged off his shoulders. He looked much older than he should have been in ten or so months since she’d first met him.

He stared back at her, unblinking.

“Darcy?” Her eldest brother Zak grabbed her shoulders. She jumped. “Who’s this?” he asked, drunkenly draping his arms over her shoulders and resting his head on top of hers.

“Um,” she said. Coulson hadn’t taken his eyes off of her, but he raised his eyebrows, waiting for her lead. “Uh, this is one of my professors. Professor Coulson. I was in his, uh, Ethics of Supranational Security Agencies during fall semester.”

There was a brief silence. The corners of Coulson’s mouth lifted slightly. Encouraged, Darcy said, “I can’t believe I never mentioned the class to you. It was one of my favorites. He wanted me to T.A. this coming year but my schedule was full.”

“Darcy, you’re such a fucking nerd!” her brother crowed. He reached over her, hand out. “Pleased to meet you, man. I’m Zak.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” said Coulson, shaking Zak’s hand. His eyes remained on Darcy though. She kept her hands by her sides, but turned her palms toward him like, _you do better_. He dipped his head, acknowledging the superiority, or perhaps creativity, of her lie.

“You going to invite him in?” said Zak. “Bring the good professor in, we got enough beer for everyone.” 

The weight on her shoulders lifted as her brother stood up. He shoved her a little. “Don’t be rude,” he chided before clattering back down the hall to the kitchen. Someone in the back of the house turned the music up. Darcy and Coulson both started at the sound. Darcy laughed. Coulson shook his head. 

“Miss Lewis, SHIELD has a proposition for you,” he said. “Is there somewhere quiet we could talk?”

Darcy looked back into the house. One of her sisters was standing on the kitchen counter, dancing and waving at Darcy. “Come on,” said Darcy. “Before the rest of them come out.”

She held an arm out to him without thinking about it and after a pause, he put his hand on her arm. He leaned on her for just moment as he stepped up and into the house. He dropped his hand immediately once he’d made it into the hallway.

“I hope you’re ready, professor,” she said. “Everyone’s drunk and we’ve just started eating cake.” 

“And you aren’t?” he said, following her down the hallway.

“I’m a little buzzed,” she said. “But my siblings started celebrating before the graduation ceremony began. You’ve been warned. Also,” she said, turning around right before they entered the kitchen, “you gave me an A. I was your star pupil.”

He nodded. “Fair enough.”

She smiled at him and stepped into the kitchen. There was a brief explosion of noise as her family shouted their hellos. She didn’t miss Coulson wincing at the volume.

“Professor Coulson!” Zak yelled over the music. “Have a beer!”

He tossed Coulson a beer, but Darcy intercepted it. “I gotta talk to him about an internship,” she yelled, tossing it back. “We’ll be in Mom’s office!”

Her family didn’t seem to hear her; her cousins had just arrived and the noise in the house grew even louder. Darcy took Coulson’s elbow and guided him through the kitchen and down the hall to her mom’s office. “Sit,” she said, pointing at the leather chair in the corner of the room. Coulson sat down heavily. “Thank you.”

It was much quieter in her mom’s office; though they could still hear the noise from the kitchen, it was muffled. She grabbed her mom’s chair from behind her desk and rolled it around so she could sit right in front of Coulson and face him dead-on. He looked serious and she refused to let that make her nervous. “Okay,” she said, crossing her arms. “What’s your proposition? What do you want to steal from me this time?”

Coulson pressed his hands together. “Have you been following the events in New York over the past week?”

“Um, yeah,” said Darcy. “Hasn’t everyone? Why do you think my family is partying so hard? They think it’s the end of the world.” She shrugged. “I keep trying to tell them that the group, The Avengers or whatever, they’re the good guys, but they won’t listen. But those are the good guys, right? I saw Thor there. He’s a good guy.”

Coulson nodded. Darcy swung back and forth on her aunt’s chair. “I mean, I keep trying to tell them about Thor but they don’t get it. They think I’m making it up.”

“It was an extraordinary situation,” said Coulson. His face had gone all creepily blank again and Darcy had the feeling he was just indulging her but she didn’t care. No one believed her and everything from last summer had become so tightly bottled up inside her that she couldn’t help but word-vomit all over Coulson.

“I don’t even believe it sometimes,” she said. “But it’s like, how could anyone make it up? Not just that big metal...thing, but Thor and his hammer and even you guys, SHIELD or whatever.” She balled up her fists and pressed them against her thighs. “And then all of that stuff that happened in New York. How could anyone not believe it?”

“You would be surprised at the lengths some people will go to put things they do not understand out of their mind.” Coulson clasped his hands in his lap. “Fear will do the most amazing things.”

“It’s stupid. Those people are idiots.” She looked around at the office but it was so infuriatingly normal that she looked back at Coulson. “Are Jane and Dr. Selvig okay?” she asked. “I text Jane sometimes but she only responds about half the time. I tried to call her last week when I saw Thor on tv and all I got was a text saying she was in Norway.”

“Miss Foster is fine,” said Coulson. “Dr. Selvig is recovering from a head injury.”

“And you?” she said. “What about you?”

“I was stabbed in the shoulder by Thor’s brother,” said Coulson. “And that was what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh my god,” said Darcy, sitting up straight. “Stabbed? Are you okay? Why did he do that?”

“It was an act of war,” said Coulson. “I attempted to kill him; he attempted to kill me.”

“Oh my god,” said Darcy again. “Why--it wasn’t just New York then? There was more?”

“What happened in New York was a battle,” said Coulson. His face was tight, angry. “War rarely begins in the battlefield.”

“I know that,” Darcy said. “But it’s aliens and magic and demi-gods and Iron Man and The Hulk. How could politics apply to people like them?”

“No matter where you are in the universe,” said Coulson, “there will be politics. Over the past week, we have found that politics here on Earth are the same everywhere else.” He unclasped his hands. “Miss Lewis, SHIELD wants to hire you.”

She stared at him, stunned into silence. He smiled. “We-- _I_ \--need an assistant. SHIELD would like me to retire. I refuse to retire. Our compromise is for me to have an assistant. We are confident that you are the best choice.”

“Why?” she asked when she got her voice back. “I’m just a student. I’m only twenty-two. I don’t—I mean, I’m not a spy or a soldier or anything like that.”

“Neither was I when I started,” said Coulson. “We’ve done a full background check and we like you. You’re smart, outgoing, and energetic. You’re in the top fifteen percent of your class and in the top five percent in your major. You know your stuff and you love research. You’ve taken six separate classes on self-defense and have been to a firing range twice, displaying an eighty percent accuracy in hitting your target.”

“You guys are so creepy,” she said. Coulson smiled even wider. “And you’d love to be part of that,” he said. “The agents who did your psychological work-up are confident of that you’ll love what you’ll get to read about the heads of state. But most importantly, you’re fearless and, since last summer, have learned to take everything that comes at you in stride.”

Darcy had been called many things and fearless had never been one of them. “I tazed a demi-god,” she said. “And that was awesome and I’d do it again but I’m not exactly fearless.”

“SHIELD weighs fearlessness by what you are willing to do,” he said. “I threatened to tase Tony Stark once.”

“That’s awesome,” she said. She was grinning too. “If I did this--would I get to tase Tony Stark?”

“Probably. That day is coming for him.” Coulson reached inside his jacket and pulled out some papers. “Of course, you’d have a month and a half of training before you got into the field and another month and a half of evaluation while you work with me to make sure that you are as qualified as we believe you to be.”

He handed the papers to her. “I’m confident in your potential and so is Director Fury.”

“Who?”

“You’ll meet him.”

“I have to finish college,” she said, looking down at the papers. “My parents will kill me if I don’t.”

“We understand that,” said Coulson. “Which is why we’re willing to sign off on two separate political science internships, one for this summer and one during your winter break, so that you’ll be able to work with us as soon as you graduate. Those internships will be fake, of course. You’ll be learning how to shoot things and break into government computer systems. Worth about eight college credits, don’t you think?”

“Sounds good,” she said. She didn’t know what else to say.

“Good. If you’re willing, your internship starts in three days.” Coulson made a mock-serious face. “Miss Darcy Lewis, do you want to work with SHIELD?” 

“Okay,” she said. “I mean! Yes. I want to.”

Coulson reached into his coat and pulled out a small box and handed it to her. “Welcome to SHIELD.”

“Are you bribing me with a new iPod?” she said, taking the box from him.

“It’s a government-issue taser,” he said and he smiled when she started laughing.

 

;;

 

During the first month and a half of her summer “internship,” she had hand-to-hand combat training and lessons on how to shoot a gun. She was taught how to hack into thirteen kinds of computer systems. She was taught to move like a spy, a civilian, a soldier and a government paperpusher. She even had dance classes for the inevitable “undercover at a ball” assignment that Coulson was sure was coming.

“This is not what you told me I would be doing,” she said, flopping onto the couch in Coulson’s office after a particularly intense lesson in how to save a life using only a t-shirt and bottle cap. Coulson looked up his computer. “You’ll need all this when we go into the field,” he said.

“Ugh,” she said putting her hands over her face. “When does that get to happen? I want to put my skills into practice.”

The door to Coulson’s office banged open and Agent Barton strode in. Darcy sat up. She knew Clint Barton from his file--and yeah, it had been awesome getting to read and memorize SHIELD files, including a dozen of their top agents and The Avengers.

“Coulson, I don’t _want_ to go to Canada without Natasha,” Clint whined. “That’s not even an actual mission you gave me.”

“Too bad,” said Coulson. “Darcy and I need field experience with you and Natasha separately before she has to deal with you two blowing up a building.”

“That was not my idea and you know it,” said Barton. He seemed to notice Darcy for the first time and shook his head. “Really, Coulson? How old is she?”

“How old are you?” Darcy shot back. “Oh wait, I know this! I read your file. Forty-one, right?”

Barton groaned. Coulson smiled at her.

“What’s in Canada?” she asked.

“A pointless exercise in pointlessness with no Natasha,” said Barton at the same time that Coulson said, “We think we’ve got a lock on a mark.”

“We know we’ve got a lock on a mark,” said Barton. “Any agent could shoot this guy. Junior here could probably shoot this guy.”

“Darcy needs to see you in action,” said Coulson. “She also needs to see someone get shot.”

“Oh,” said Darcy. Somehow, during all her defense training, she’d forgotten that other people would be getting shot at besides herself. “Shot? Like, shot dead?”

“Are you going to throw up?” Clint asked. “I hate the ones who throw up. It makes clean up so much harder.” 

“Good point,” said Coulson. “Darcy, you need to spend time in the morgue.”

He reached for the phone on his desk and winced, drawing back when he jostled his shoulder. Darcy stood up and picked up the phone for him. “What’s the number?” she said. “And why haven’t you taken your pain medication today?”

“Stop bothering me about that,” said Coulson with a frown. Darcy frowned back at him until Coulson sighed and open a drawer, digging around for his medication. Clint laughed. “I changed my mind,” he said. “I might like you after all.”

“I’m on the phone,” said Darcy. “Shh.”

As it happened, however, Darcy was not the one to throw up. The mark was the one to throw up, and he did it all over a public square and then it turned out it was all a ruse and then Hawkeye got shot. Someone set off a smoke bomb like they were in some kind of b-movie and by the time back-up arrived, Darcy had tased three people, including the mark and the mark’s boss.

“Changed my mind,” Clint wheezed as she helped him to his feet and over to the SHIELD medics. “I definitely like you. I think you saved my life, which is horrifying in its own way.”

“Whatever,” said Darcy, distracted. There were SHIELD agents everywhere and none of them were Coulson. “You can make it up to me later. Have you see Coulson?”

“On the roof where you left him,” said Clint. “He’s fine, he’s yelling at some agents for letting me get shot.”

Darcy raced up to the roof when she dropped Clint off. Just in time; Coulson was standing in front of the door to the roof, looking at the stairs with a resigned look on his face. Walking up had been difficult for him. She held out her arm for him to hold and they began walking down, one step at a time.

“I’m proud of you,” said Coulson after they’d gone down two flights. “No one is dead and you helped catch our mark. Of course, you disobeyed our direct orders from SHIELD not to get involved.”

“I’m sorry,” said Darcy, though she was not sorry at all. 

“You saved lives,” said Coulson. “You saved Clint’s life and you saved civilian lives.” He stopped on a step. “It’s a rare day for SHIELD when no one dies,” he said.

“Just doing my job,” she said. “Er, internship.”

“Top marks for today,” said Coulson, smiling at her for the first time all day. She smiled back. 

;;

 

Early on, Darcy declared that Coulson would have zero privacy at work. After all, she was Coulson’s personal assistant, wasn’t she? She was getting her ass kicked day and night by SHIELD trainers for him. The least he could do was let her sit in on meetings and barge into his office unannounced. He mostly agreed to it, though he wanted her to knock.

She picked up two cups of coffee after yet another ballroom dance class with the vague intention of bribing Coulson into stopping the lessons. “Coulson,” she said, shouldering the door open without knocking. “Are these dance classes really necessary?”

Coulson wasn’t there. Tony Stark was and he was sitting on the couch. “Darcy Lewis,” he said. “You’re famous.”

“Tony Stark,” she said. “You’re more famous.”

“I am,” he said, nodding. “I’m actually famous. You’re just SHIELD-famous for saving Hawkeye’s ass. With a taser, no less.”

“I did,” she said, lifting her head. She was still very proud of herself for that. “I really did. You might as well put me on the team.”

Tony burst into laughter. “Not yet, kid,” he said. “What would we call you? Captain Taser?” 

“I like that,” said Coulson behind her. “It has a nice ring to it.” 

She handed him his cup of coffee and moved out of the way to let him in. “Captain Taser? Really?”

“It’s like Captain America, but less patriotic,” said Coulson. He sat down at his desk. “Stark. Thanks for coming.”

“You didn’t give me a choice,” said Tony. “So, why am I here?”

“Darcy and I need field experience with you.”

“Like how you got field experience with Clint? ‘Cause I gotta say, I’m not really into getting shot at so Captain Taser here can practice her first aid training.” Tony leaned back against the couch and crossed his arms.

“No, not like that,” said Coulson. “We’re unlikely to work with you outside of an Avengers situation since you never tell us when you’re going to do anything. This is just a babysitting job. You’ve got a ball coming up and Darcy needs to put all her dance lessons into practice.”

“ _Really?_ ” she and Tony said at once.

“Yes,” said Coulson. “I’ll be there, of course, but you know, chest injury, can’t move too much.”

“That’s a lie,” said Darcy, who had seen him in physical therapy. He could almost throw a punch now and he was totally capable of knocking the feet out from under someone. The doctors said he’d be back in fighting form in a couple of months.

“I don’t need babysitting,” said Tony, looking put out. “Why does everyone think that I need babysitting?”

“Because you do,” said Darcy. “Don’t think I haven’t read your file.” 

Tony made a face at her. Coulson nodded. “She’s right. You’ll dance with her and you’ll have a great time and you won’t start any fights.”

“Is that a challenge?” said Tony sitting up. “I like that challenge.”

“I learned how to break someone’s hand with my elbow yesterday,” Darcy told him. “If you start a fight, I can finish it.”

“With me or against me?”

Darcy honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. She looked over at Coulson. Coulson’s face was blank, but she had gotten good at reading him. He was trying not to smile. “Both,” he said.

“Cool,” she said and grinned at Tony. “It’s a date.” She paused. “Oh wow, I’m going on a date with Tony Stark. Can we get our picture taken by the paparazzi somewhere? Otherwise my parents will never believe me.”

But of course it was never going to be just a date. At least Tony hadn’t started the fight—some tough guy who claimed to be part of a drug ring did. Tony had busted up the supervillain drug ring a couple of weeks back—without telling SHIELD _of course_ \--and the guy was out for revenge. Him and like, eight of his buddies. 

They shouldn’t have been shoving people around on the dance floor and they definitely shouldn’t have started shoving Tony. Then one of them shoved Darcy so hard that she fell down.

No one would be able to prove that the guy wasn’t the one who started the fight. Darcy smiled when she took her first guy out and smiled when she took the last guy out too. Something was probably wrong that she was smiling while she knocked someone out, but whatever. They had it coming.

Tony ended up with a broken hand, but it totally wasn’t her fault. Coulson had watched the entire thing from the sidelines with a mild-mannered expression on his face. “Good job,” he said, when SHIELD medics had finished wrapping up a cut on her hand. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m sorry I ripped my dress.” It was ugly as sin, but it was a SHIELD-issue dress and therefore government property. She felt kind of bad; Coulson had lectured her about taking care of government property when she’d broken her first taser.

“It’s an ugly dress and they need to update their wardrobe,” said Coulson. He smiled. “If I were you, I’d rip it just a little more on the sleeve. Maybe the collar too. Just so no other agent has to work in that dress.”

As Coulson carefully ripped her sleeve and she tugged on her collar, Tony limped up to them. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked. “Not you, Coulson, apparently we can’t count on you in a fight, but Darcy?” He squinted. “You’re old enough to drink, right?”

“I’m twenty-two,” she said. Coulson tore the sleeve half off. Tony nodded approvingly. “Ugly as hell. I’m glad we didn’t get photographed together.”

“It’s not mine,” she said. “It’s SHIELD’s. I have way better taste than this thing.”

“Let me buy you a dress then,” said Tony. “Least I can do for you since you saved my life. I’d feel weird buying a twenty-two year old a drink anyway. Plus, Pepper’s mad at me again. Maybe you can help me pick out some jewelry for her or something.”

Darcy and Tony had a good talk about Pepper and Tony’s relationship while buying Pepper jewelry. They also got photographed walking out of the shop where they’d bought Darcy’s dress, so Darcy wasn’t too mad that Tony thought she was too young to drink legally.

 

;;

 

Near the end of her second month with SHIELD, Coulson handed her a file. “Your third official assignment.”

“What, did the others not count?” Since she’d gone on a date with Tony Stark and beaten up eight guys, she and Coulson had gone to Tokyo, Buenos Aires, and Paris where they found some stolen SHIELD paperwork, arrested a former SHIELD employee, and beat up more bad guys. This was all under the guise of field experience and getting to know other agents in every possible situation. Darcy was beginning to suspect that SHIELD just didn’t have the man power to work at full capacity.

“With The Avengers, Darcy,” said Coulson.

Darcy flipped open the file only to discover that they were going to accompany Bruce Banner on a visit to her own university. “This not an assignment,” she said. “This is another babysitting job.”

“You saw how your last babysitting job ended up,” said Coulson. “Why are you complaining? Knowing you, you’ll end up starting a fight and tasing the entire astrophysics department.”

“Okay, first of all, no one but you can prove I started that fight and second, I totally should have gotten an A on my lab report for my internship with Jane and Erik.” She frowned. “Serves them right if they get tased.”

“We use our powers for good,” Coulson reminded her.

“That would be doing good! That would be justice. I almost died for those six credits!”

“Yes and the paperwork for that kind of stunt would bury us both. No tasing professors. We leave in five hours. Banner’s visiting Dr. Ross and SHIELD requested that he go with a guard just in case something triggers him on campus.”

Bruce was a really great guy. He had a sharp sense of humor and he was obviously head over heels in love with Betty. He was nice to Darcy and careful around Coulson. Darcy liked him a lot. They all had a good day at Culver University and Darcy knew she’d have bonus street cred when school started for being seen walking around Culver with the infamous Professors Ross and Banner. Betty even convinced Darcy to take one of her classes, something Darcy happily agreed to even though she knew she’d be in over her head. Betty was just that awesome.

It was too good a day, of course. They were just making their goodbyes when some idiot decided to attack Betty with a bow and arrow. Betty was fine—the guy was nowhere near as good a shot as Hawkeye--but Bruce hulked out anyway and Darcy ended up tasing a member of the astrophysics department after all. “Seriously, what the hell?” she asked when the professor came to in the van where he was being held. “Seriously! Bruce wasn’t even in your department.”

“It was an experiment?” the professor protested.

“It was an assassination attempt,” growled Bruce. The big guy had only come out for a half an hour or so, but Bruce was still on edge. The Hulk had destroyed an entire building while Darcy ran around looking for the archer and Coulson attended to Betty. Endangering Betty was one of Bruce’s surefire triggers. Bruce would do anything for her and so would The Hulk. Darcy thought it was romantic, albeit in kind of a messed up way.

The professor shrank back in his seat when Bruce bared his teeth at him. Good to know that even would-be assassinators were afraid of The Hulk, Darcy thought. SHIELD agents nudged them out of the van and took the professor away for good.

Bruce was quiet when Darcy accompanied him on the flight to New York. Coulson had been asked to stick around for damage control and left her to make sure Bruce got back to Stark Tower without incident. She wasn’t really nervous; given a clean pair of clothes and a hug from Betty, Bruce seemed to have The Hulk under control. Still, the look on his face, which had started out as dejected and had turned into misery over the course of the flight, was more than she could bear.

“You did the right thing,” she said. Bruce jerked and looked up. “What?”

“I mean, maybe not the right thing, but you did what you had to do. What you thought was best.” She leaned forward. “You can’t dwell on it.”

“I don’t dwell,” said Bruce. “I assess the damage I’ve caused and reflect on what might be done better next time.”

“You look miserable,” she said.

“To some extent, I’m always miserable,” said Bruce.

“I’ve read your file,” said Darcy. “The Hulk hasn’t caused more damage than Iron Man.”

“Really?” he said. Darcy nodded. “Yeah, I mean, you’re more smash-y and he’s more explode-y, but from what Coulson and I have calculated, the structural damage you’ve both incurred is about the same.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about structural damage. Buildings are replaceable. People aren’t.”

“The loss of civilian life is about the same too,” she said. “Surprisingly low for who you two are and what you two are capable of. You think you’re a monster, but you’re not, really. Not anymore than anyone else on the team.”

“Are you playing shrink on me?” Bruce asked. He didn’t look angry though. He looked interested.

“I was,” said Darcy. “Now I’m just telling you to get real. Maybe you don’t have a suit but you’re not that much worse than Tony or any of the other Avengers.”

“Not that much, huh?”

“Really,” she said. “Not that much.”

He laughed and she wasn’t sure if he was laughing at her, or at himself, or at the entire situation. “Just trying to put things in perspective,” she said.

“I know.” He smiled at her. “No one’s ever calculated the damage I’ve caused against the damage that Tony Stark has caused.” He leaned back against the wall of SHIELD’s helicopter. They fell silent again, but at least he looked contemplative rather than miserable.

Coulson met the quinjet on the ground when Darcy got back to SHIELD’s base. She didn’t know how he beat her there, but she didn’t really care; she was just glad to see him. It was dark out, almost midnight, and she was still keyed up from all the action. “You’re a good intern,” Coulson said.

“Thanks?” 

“I’m serious,” said Coulson. They started walking back to headquarters where, Darcy knew, a metric ton of paperwork was waiting for them. “You were better with Bruce than we expected you to be.”

“You were listening?” she said in disbelief. “How?”

Coulson ignored her. “Darcy, there are not many people who willingly engage Banner on the subject of The Hulk. You didn’t quite get him to talk about it, but you did good with him.”

She snorted. “He’s a person, Coulson, not an assignment.”

“That’s something a lot of agents fail to realize,” he said.

“I’m just doing what you told me to do,” she said. She held open the door for him. “Working with The Avengers and all that.”

“You’re gonna be a great agent,” he said. 

“I hope so,” she said. Coulson smiled at her and she smiled back. They began walking through the building towards Coulson’s office.

“The real test is how fast you can finish paperwork,” said Coulson when they had almost reached his office. “Are you ready for a long night?”

“Race you,” she said. “First one to finish owes the other a donut.”

“You’re on,” he said with a grin.

 

;;

 

It was the second to last week of her internship when she met Captain freaking America.

“Darcy Lewis,” he said, shaking her hand. “Tony and Clint won’t stop talking about you.” 

He was probably a foot taller than her and had the bluest blue eyes she’d ever seen. His smile was warm and his face was pretty and he exuded safety and good intentions. She could see why Coulson swooned over him.

“Steve Rogers,” she said, grinning. “Coulson won’t stop talking about you. I’ve read your file.”

Saying that hadn’t been awkward with Clint or Tony or even Bruce but it sounded super awkward to her now that she was talking to Steve. There was something about him that made her think he was made of decency and respecting other people’s privacy. But Steve just laughed. She suspected he was used to creepier comments from Coulson or Tony.

He was almost an hour early for a meeting with Coulson. It was, he said, his practice to come early sometimes, just to surprise Coulson. It kept Coulson on his toes and the look on Coulson’s face was worth it every time.

It wasn’t in Captain America’s file that he was a bit of a troll. Darcy made a mental note to add it. She’d known Coulson had a meeting with Steve, but she was going to leave way before Steve showed up. She was only in Coulson’s office to take a nap—she wasn’t sleeping well and kept having nightmares about the people she’d been beating up all summer. Maybe that was why she felt so safe around Steve right now. He was the protector of the people and she was one of his people.

She sat down on the couch and Steve sat next to her. She tried to think of something to say. Coulson’s fanboying was contagious.

Steve spoke first. “How are you adjusting to life at SHIELD?” he asked.

“It’s great,” said Darcy honestly. “I love it. I feel like I’m doing something important, you know? I mean, I know I’m not really, not yet, but I feel like I am just by hanging around Coulson and occasionally saving Tony Stark’s life.”

He laughed. “I’d say that saving Tony Stark’s life is doing something important.”

“I saved Clint’s life too,” she said, with a smirk. And then because she felt so safe around him, or maybe because there was some kind of awkward-conversation quota for talking to Steve Rogers, she added, “But I keeping having nightmares.”

She looked at him. He nodded at her to continue. She sighed. “Nightmares about getting my ass kicked by all the people I helped put in jail. Or Coulson getting his ass kicked by all the people I’ve helped put in jail. I mean, basically, I’ve dreamed about all of you getting your asses kicked and me not being able to help you at all.” She looked down at her hands. “I have all of the Avenger files memorized along with the files of a dozen other top agents and I just…I think those are the worst, the dreams about things happening to you guys and Coulson. I can’t help you and it’s horrible. Like I’m just this helpless observer, I’m locked out and can’t do anything about the situation. It’s a dumb thing to have nightmares about but--”

She started when he put one of his hands on hers. “Hey,” he said. “It’s not dumb at all.” She looked up at him. “You’re talking to the right person about helpless,” he said. “Not being to help the ones you love can be the worst feeling of all.”

“I haven’t even met everyone!” she said. “That’s the really messed up part, I haven’t even met all of the agents I’ve been having nightmares about and I still get totally freaked out. I know I’m just a kid to everyone, but I feel like it’s my responsibility to protect you guys and watching everyone get hurt, even just in dreams, tears me up!”

“Congratulations,” said Steve. “You’re officially a member of SHIELD.” He let go of her hand and clasped his hands in front of him. “I have screaming nightmares about not being able to help the ones I love and trust.” 

“I guess I just figured that saving lives would balance out kicking asses,” she said. “I thought you all slept soundly at night.”

He laughed. “Spend one night at Stark Tower and you’ll see how wrong you are. Listen,” he said, turning to her. “It gets easier, sure. Once you see us through a disaster or two, maybe save my life or Tony’s again, you won’t be as scared. But it’ll still haunt you, not being able to help everyone. People get injured in our line of work. You saw Clint get shot. That guy’ll bounce back from just about everything, but not everyone will be as lucky as him.”

The way he said _our line of work_ made a lump rise in the back of her throat. “How do you deal?” she asked. “How do you run into battle and not totally freak out about everyone losing you love?”

“Well, practically everyone I called family is now dead,” said Steve, “but even when they weren’t, well. When I started fighting as Captain America, I was terrified that I would lose someone or that I would see someone I loved get hurt. But you gotta keep going. There’s nothing for it. You just keep your head up and keep fighting and make sure you count everyone at the end of the day and thank God for whoever you’ve got left.”

“And when there was no one left?” she asked.

“I got up and I fought anyway. What else was there for me to do? I’m not going to stand aside and do nothing--look at it this way. You’re part of SHIELD now.” He took her hand again and looked at her. “You will never again watch people get hurt without trying to help them.” He squeezed her hand. “You’ll lose people you love and you’ll lose people you don’t know and you might lose yourself in the fight too. You don’t stop being scared of any of that, you don’t stop having nightmares about it, but you learn to run with it. Our nightmares do not control the outcome of what happens to us when we’re awake. Just remember that.” 

She swallowed. “I’ll try.”

He let go of her hand. “Anyway, I was scrawnier than you when I joined the army, so you’ve already ahead of me.” 

She laughed. He grinned at her. “I’m sure none of that will help your nightmares, but you know. Keep it in mind.”

“I will,” she said.

“So I hear we’re supposed to call you Captain Taser now?” he asked and she took the unsubtle change of subject with a smile. Coulson came in a half-hour later and wasn’t even that mad when she told him that she had held hands with Captain America.

“Thank you, by the way,” Coulson said, right before she left him for the day. “Steve hasn’t been that forthright with his past since we picked him up.” 

“You were listening?” she said.

“I’m always listening.” He smiled at her when she made a face. “Especially when it comes to Steve. You know that.”

“I do,” she said. “I mean, I was just talking to him. I wasn’t trying to make it into this thing. I wasn’t trying to get him to talk about his past.”

“I know you weren’t,” said Coulson. “Darcy, take his advice to heart—he’s Captain America, he knows what he’s talking about.”

She snorted. He smiled. “You’ve done so much for this team already and you’re not even a real employee. You’re going to be unstoppable when you graduate.”

“You think?”

“I know,” he said.

 

;;

 

“I wish I didn’t have to leave in three days,” said Darcy. She wanted to throw her laptop across the room. Her school required essays at the end of each internship and she’d left hers off until the last possible minute. Coulson hadn’t even bothered to bring it up until this morning.

“Your parents will kill me if you don’t graduate,” said Coulson. “Write your essay.”

“Ugh,” said Darcy with a sigh. She bent over her laptop again. 

They had sunk back into a companionable, if somewhat irritable, silence again when the door banged open and Natasha Romanoff stomped in. “I’m stealing Darcy,” she said without pretense.

“What?” said Coulson and Darcy together. 

Natasha rounded on her and said, “Natasha Romanoff. Nice to meet you.”

“Darcy Lewis,” said Darcy, reaching over her laptop to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you too, finally.”

“Yeah, well,” Natasha glared at Coulson. “I’m not the one who sent me on a month-long undercover mission to California. Come on. Let’s get lunch.”

“She has an essay to write,” Coulson said without the least protestation; Darcy had been doing her best to annoy him all day. Darcy set aside her laptop. “I’ll be back.”

Darcy followed Natasha through the hallway down to the mess. “I’m sorry we didn’t meet earlier,” Natasha said, once they had their food. She set her tray down on a table and gestured for Darcy to sit too. “SHIELD’s not too happy about the New York thing. They think sending me and Clint on boring undercover assignments will bring us back to them.”

“You’ll never go back to fieldwork with SHIELD fulltime,” said Darcy. “I’ve read your file. They’re totally wrong about you.”

“How so?” said Natasha, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve read my file and agree that they’re completely wrong, but I want to know why you think so.”

“You’re you,” Darcy said. She waved her fork at Natasha’s general person. “You’re basically amazing at everything you do which means you can do whatever you want.” She took a bite of her salad and nearly choked. “Holy crap, how did they make wilted lettuce taste so good?”

“You’d be surprised at what SHIELD agents can do,” said Natasha. “When they put their minds to it, even the chefs can work wonders.” She picked up her fork and dug into her own salad. “Thank you, by the way. People don’t usually compliment me straight out. They usually feel the need to hide it behind some kind of threat or insult.”

“I’m just keeping it real,” said Darcy, taking another bite of her salad. “So, what’s it like being an Avenger?”

“I wouldn’t know,” said Natasha. “I was only one for, what, twelve hours? SHIELD yanked Clint and I off the radar pretty quickly.”

“What was it like for twelve hours?” Darcy asked.

“It was…good,” said Natasha. Darcy made a face. “No, really, what was it like?”

Natasha sighed. “I do a lot of good, but it’s hard to see sometimes. With The Avengers, there was no mistaking what we were doing. We were saving people. We were saving the world. SHIELD saves the world every day, but it’s rarely that visible. You couldn’t make up the monsters we were fighting.”

“That’s the other reason you’ll never go back to SHIELD full time,” said Darcy. She shoved her salad plate away and moved on to her soup. Natasha did the same. “You like doing good and you especially like doing good when there’s no way to spin it other than good.”

They lapsed into silence while they ate. “You’re alarmingly insightful for a SHIELD intern,” said Natasha after awhile. “Don’t ever lose that.” She picked up her empty soup bowl and set it on her salad plate. “Three for three,” she muttered, starting in on her pasta, which was overcooked and grey. “Don’t disappoint me.”

“All this food looks disgusting and tastes great,” said Darcy. “You gotta wonder what’s really going on.”

“Like I said, SHIELD works wonders,” said Natasha. “You’re young, but you’ll see.” She chewed her pasta and swallowed. “I don’t like food that lies to me,” she said to her plate.

“Tastes bad?”

“Tastes great,” said Natasha. “So how about you? What’s a college student doing here at SHIELD?”

“You tell me,” said Darcy. “You’re the master spy.”

“You like adventure, you like excitement, and you like to be safe. SHIELD gives you all three.” Natasha took another bite of her pasta. 

Darcy’s life had never been so succinct. “That’s it?”

“Did I miss something?”

“No,” Darcy admitted. They ate in silence until Darcy remembered something she’d wanted to tell her. “Hey, did you know that you’re slated to be the most popular Halloween costume for girls this year?”

“For what age group?”

“Five to ten year olds, mostly,” said Darcy. She pulled out her phone to show Natasha. In a fit of boredom that morning, she’d looked up Halloween costumes for The Avengers to see if they made Captain American suits in Coulson’s size. She was cheered to see how high the sales were for Black Widow costumes. She pulled up the website that was selling the costumes. “Look.”

Natasha stared at the screen. “Wow,” she said. “That’s. I don’t know whether to be mortified or horrified.”

“Tony was pissed when I sent him the link. His company already puts out Iron Man costumes but he’s making costumes for the rest of team too now. All ages, of course, but he told me that since they put up a sales announcement earlier today, pre-orders for your costume with kids are on par with Captain America, who’s second only to Iron Man. He’s still designing the older, sexier, genderbent versions of the costumes, but he’s confident you’ll remain the third-most popular for the older crowd too. He thinks you may even rise to second.”

“Well, if there were more female superheroes,” said Natasha and then she stopped. She put down her fork. “Oh my god,” she said and she began to laugh. She laughed for so long that Darcy thought she might have finally cracked. “Are you okay?” Darcy asked.

“I called myself a superhero,” said Natasha. “I called myself a female superhero.”

“Another reason you’ll never go back to SHIELD fulltime,” said Darcy. “Mostly because you can’t--superheroes are made in the public eye by being amazing at what they do while fighting on the side of the good. You were an individual before but now you’re _the_ individual. You’re the only woman in The Avengers. You’re the Black Widow. You can’t go back underground and disappoint all the kids who’ve replaced Iron Man with Black Widow as their number one favorite superhero. You wouldn’t believe how popular you are,” she added. “Coulson and I found some pretty adorable photos from Comic Con of toddlers dressed as Avengers. There were quite a few boys dressed up like you. Nowhere near as many as girls, of course. But you’re everybody’s hero now.”

“I’m a hero,” said Natasha. She put her face in her hands. “I’m a superhero. Little kids want to be me. There are so many things wrong with this situation.”

“As long as they don’t find out about Budapest, right?” Darcy said.

Natasha dissolved into laughter again. Darcy grinned and got up to get them both ice cream. She passed Coulson on the way to the ice cream bar and he grabbed her arm. “If you broke Natasha, you’re fired,” he warned.

“Calm down,” said Darcy. “I’m helping Natasha Romanoff come to terms with her celebrity status. Nothing to worry about.”

Coulson shook his head. “How do you do it?” he asked. “It took me six months to get her to say hello to me.”

“She said SHIELD agents can work wonders,” said Darcy. “Guess I really am one of you now.”

He patted her arm. “She likes chocolate ice cream,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”

When she returned to the table, Natasha was wiping her eyes on a napkin. “What did Coulson say?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse with laughter.

“He said you liked chocolate,” said Darcy, passing her a bowl of ice cream. Natasha took it from her. “Thank you.”

They ate their ice cream in silence but Natasha kept breaking into laughter which made Darcy laugh as well. “I’m sorry,” Natasha said, when they finished their bowls. “I’m not usually like this.”

“I am,” said Darcy. She grinned at Natasha and Natasha grinned back.

 

;;

 

She met Director Fury on her last day at SHIELD. She was walking down the hall to the elevator too, nothing formal about it. She probably wouldn’t have met him at all, if Thor hadn’t boomed “Lady Darcy!” from behind her.

She startled and turned around to see Director Fury and Thor walking behind her. Thor laughed. Fury looked amused. “Darcy Lewis,” he said. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“You too, sir,” she said.

“Coulson tells me you’ve been a great help to him this summer,” Fury said. “He’s been recovering a lot faster from his injury than our doctors predicted. I’m sure that’s in no small part due to you. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said.

He nodded. “He’s my second in command. I owe you one.”

She gaped at him, but he merely smiled. Thor took her hand as he passed and squeezed it. “It is good to see you,” he said. “I’m glad you will be on our team.”

She waited until they turned a corner. Then she ran in the other direction.

Coulson was in his office when she burst in after running up two flights of stairs. “Director Fury said he owes me one!” she yelled. Coulson looked up. “He what?”

“He said he owes me one.” She threw herself on Coulson’s couch. “That’s not something he says to everyone, right? He actually meant it.”

“He actually meant it,” Coulson confirmed. “I think he’s only said that to two or three people in his entire life and one of them was me.”

“Oh my god.” She buried her face in her hands. “The Director of SHIELD owes me a favor. I could have people arrested. I could have people killed. I bet I could get him to introduce me to the president. Oh my god.” She took a deep breath and looked up. Coulson was laughing at her. “What?”

“You know I could do all that too?” he said. “And you know that I owe you an even bigger favor than Director Fury?”

“You’re giving me eight college credits, I think that’s pretty good.” said Darcy. She got up and started collecting all the things she’d left around Coulson’s office. “Natasha and Clint are taking me home in the quinjet in an hour. This summer has gone by really quickly for me.” 

“Me too,” said Coulson. “You’ve done amazing work this summer.”

“I can’t believe I start school in a couple of days. It’s surreal.” She picked up a notebook. “Have you seen my iPod?”

“About that,” said Coulson. He opened up a drawer and pulled out a neatly wrapped box. He got up from his desk and walked around to her. “As a token of my appreciation.”

“Another taser?”

“Open it,” he said. 

She tore open the wrapping paper. “An iPod? Wow, thank you!”

“SHIELD confiscated your old one,” said Coulson. “It’s the least I could do.”

She wanted to be mad, but couldn’t really find it in her. “Thank you,” she said again. She tucked the box in her bag. “I’d better go. I’ll still see you in the winter, right? I actually really need those credits to graduate.”

“You won’t see just me,” said Coulson. “SHIELD’s putting together a very special practice assignment for you and The Avengers. I can’t give you details yet, but it’ll involve all of us, Director Fury, and the Pacific Ocean.”

“It won’t be a practice assignment,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You guys are incapable of practice assignments.”

“We try though.”

“You suck at it.”

“I know.” He smiled at her. “You still need to learn how to fly the quinjet. I can’t believe I forgot to schedule flying lessons for you.”

“I’ve got time,” she said. “I’m in for the long haul.” 

“Good,” said Coulson. He put out his hand. “Take care of yourself at college. We need you here when you graduate.”

She pulled him into a hug. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried,” she said.


End file.
